The other day, a girl who walks her dog, that we have befriended while working on the outside of our house asked my husband, “why are you doing this?” He responded that we want to see the house restored. I have to agree this is one of the reasons we labor so intensely on this wooden box, but this is also a question I come back to, why am I doing this? Restoring an old home is one of my dreams. Yet, I know my call in life is to bring God’s Kingdom here on Earth. This is my purpose, this is my motive, this is what I live for. I am constantly checking my motives. Why am I doing this? Is it for man’s approval? Am I hiding behind it all? Is my security in my possessions? At times, I can honestly say, yes, I am guilty of these things. Then, I see God use our house in such amazing ways and know all this is not out of striving but, I AM in God’s perfect will. One thing I always come back to is, I can’t quite figure out how home restoration and decorating, one of my greatest passions right now, fits into God’s Kingdom. At times I feel it is so vain. So many times I look around and think all this stuff doesn’t matter anyway. It’s all going to burn. And I ask myself, “what difference am I making today with my life, besides making it pretty by decorating it?” I have this deep desire to leave all this behind and live on the front lines of life caring for orphans in Africa or sharing the gospel in the most dangerous parts of the world. Then, I think about the life of a missionary and not having a decorated house and I just can’t do it!! I know it sounds so petty but these are the things I think about! My poor husband listens to these ramblings and tries to make sense of my head. Oh God, bless him! I don’t know why I am putting this out there for you all to read. I guess I just want to be known. Don’t we all? Don’t we all want someone to know why we’re doing this, whatever your “this” is.