I was thinking about life and the framework from which I view it. I am in a season where all of it is being shaken, broken apart and remade. I’m not a risk taker. I’m a play it safe girl. I didn’t climb a tree until I was 20!!! On an emotional level, I cling to security, I fear the unknown but God is showing his faithfulness as he frees me from these things that bind me. As I thought about these things I concluded that the person who has helped me grow the most in my risk taking is my husband, Joel.
Let me tell you one story of how I was quickly broken of my play it safe mentality. It was 4 months into marriage and we were at Horsetail Falls, a resort outside of Monterrey, Mexico. It was beautifully positioned on the edge of a mountain. I was so grateful to be there, with my hubby, taking in all the beauty. Then we came around a corner and there was a bungee jump set up over the edge of the mountain. Joel looked at me and said he wanted to do it. I thought OH MY GOD, he’s not serious! Here we are 4 months into marriage and he wants to throw himself over a cliff, does he not want to live to see our one year anniversary??? I was definitely not fond of the idea but I knew I couldn’t allow my fear to keep my husband from his drive for adventure. I knew in that moment I could allow my need for security to squelch my husband’s fire or I could trust him and God with our lives. So I held back my tears and said ok I trust your decision. As he suited up I stood there shaking and praying, begging God not to let me become at widow at 22. I watched him walk to the edge, I told God I trusted him, then my husband threw himself over the edge of the mountain. He plunged up and down, over the tree tops screaming with exhilaration and excitement. I was praising God as I saw my husband, like a little boy full of contentment, swing there, still alive. I was so proud of him! In my mind he wasn’t afraid of anything, he was my hero! And God was my Good Father who I could trust with our lives. That day forever changed me.
I still shake when God asks me to trust and take the plunge. I find my self crawling back to security, clinging to the things I know. But I know he has so much more for me. He wants me to grow in confidence. He longs to show me how strong and safe he is. He extends his hand and says “Will you trust me.”